TW: Sexual Assault

I met a guy when I was 18, a friend of a friend’s. We casually hooked up at parties and would see each other out at the bar when we turned of age. When I began working at the bar, I used to serve him and his friends a lot. Eventually we burned out and he started dating another girl. We were always friendly so when I saw him enter my bar one night, hand in hand with his girl, I didn’t think much of it.

I was carrying a tray full of empty glassware to the washer when he stepped into my path. I said hey and asked how their night was. Still holding hands with his girlfriend he reached down and under my skirt and grabbed my vagina (yeah, like Trump). I was 20, I had no idea what this meant.

I also worked somewhere that had a very intimate culture where things happen that I wouldn’t have recognized as abuse at the time. I froze and just continued walking to the washer and finished out my shift.

Never another thought about it until recently. Obviously I knew it was fucked up but I think I dismissed it because we had hooked up before. And even that is fucked up! I wish I had had a clearer mind when I worked as a server because I had many, many unsavoury experiences. This same person tried to film me when we were hooking up one time. I was thankfully able to get rid of the video and walked out on him but also didn’t realize how serious that was at the time.