TW: Sexual Assault
I lived in ottawa; I had moved there for work. The opportunities laid out in front of me seemed endless & vast.
Until December 2014.
My friend was having a birthday and we had decided to enjoy industry night to celebrate. We had dinner and drinks at a classy restaurant and then proceeded to head to the bar; I decided to DD for the birthday girl & so I had my car.
The club was shoulder to shoulder & quickly my group ordered bottle service; I stuck to the virgin cranberry juice supplied to our table. I have been drugged by an ex before & was usually so careful with my drink when being out: being extra diligent on not leaving it unattended.
However; on this evening I carelessly went to dance thinking I was invincible because: I was sober? When I came back to the table I remembered a group of men staring at our table but thought nothing of it.
Shortly after this; a friend of ours who was a DJ started his set and invited all of my group to the stage with him. I told my best friend I would be going to the restroom & meet her on stage.
The next thing I can remember from that fateful evening was being in the back of a black sedan; surrounded by men in the middle of the back seat. From there; I was forced into a home; in a place I didn’t recognize. Thankfully; remarkably & a question that plagues me to this day: I escaped!? I was in an upper class area of Ottawa with beautiful homes; it was approximately 4 am. I had no cellphone, money, keys, coat or purse: it had all been stolen/lost.. I had no choice but to ask for help from strangers at an ungodly hour... I began knocking on one home that looked to have their lights on; after a few knocks I was told to ‘Get the **** off my ******* porch!’
I begged them to please call the cops & they must not have heard me so they threatened to call the cops: I screamed ‘PLEASE DO!!’
When the police arrived they didn’t believe me; my incoherent and incomplete story was baffling them & so instead of asking the tough questions: they simply rested on the fact: I was obviously intoxicated & making no sense. Despite never being asked or given a breathalyzer which would have quickly cleared up any discrepancies.
Despite my slurred speech as a result of what I now believe, was GHB; I expressed I believed I had been kidnapped & I had no idea where I was. They explained I was about 25 minutes from my last known location to which I expressed I would never have left my friends, or my car.. Nothing was adding up.. The police said they could take me home or the drunk tank: no offer of the hospital was offered & at this point; I simply wanted to go to sleep. I was confused and beyond scared; was unsure where my friends were or even how to contact them. My keys were missing for not only my car and home but I worked at a restaurant which I was a manager: I was terrified of what waited me.
As a result of the above; I was not only not believed at my job; I was subsequently terminated as a result of my kidnapping. My workplace worked very hard to discredit & actually falsified schedules to discredit me to the labour board. I had to pay to have my police reports for the labour board case & that was another kick to the gut when I read that the police thought I was simply intoxicated and never actually even knocked on any doors or did any kind of investigation. In other words: I was drunk & deserved what I got: neither of which were true...
This is something I have lived with every single day since this happened. I work hard to remember I survived & i’m alive but it doesn’t negate the time and energy I put into being here everyday. I have been diagnosed with PTSD & I suffer from triggers, nightmares & have taken to grinding my teeth regularly. I have not been able to work as a manager of a restaurant; since I was terminated & sometimes I find it difficult just to work at all.
I don’t think I will ever truly know what happened to me that evening in December, but that’s something I have had to strive towards being content with.