TW: Sexual Assault
It was years ago, I was fairly new to Victoria and I was going out to bars a lot to socialize and meet people. One night I met a nice guy and we became friends. He came onto me a couple times but I mostly brushed him off. We had been casual friends for about 3 years, only going out for drinks on occasion but he was someone I felt safe with.
One time we went to a Victoria bar and danced for a few hours . I usually have a pretty high tolerance but was drinking mixed drinks that suddenly hit me harder than I expected and I realized I was in a bad state. I had driven to the bar and this friend said he was fine to drive my car and I could go to his place til I felt better. I remember vaguely coming to when when the car stopped but I was at the point that I could barely walk, on the verge of blackout.
I'm pretty sure I passed out shortly after arriving in his room. I remember waking up hours later with my pants and underwear pulled down but not fully off. I think I remember asking 'did we have sex?' .. I don't remember much else but I felt so awful the next day .. knowing I did not want to have sex with him and that I was in no state to consent to it. I told him I was upset about what happened and he was extremely apologetic. I felt bad that he felt bad. He was a pretty good guy and I felt like it was my fault for putting myself in that position.
Years later, I still think about that experience and feel violated. I am sad for myself that I didn't have a strong enough self worth. Im sad that our culture has raised men that act this way on impulse and we think its ok because 'we were drunk'. He still sends me memes occasionally and I still have no idea hoe to act. I hope by sharing this, more women who have similar experiences can find compassion for themselves and eventual healing.