TW: Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Assault
While in high school, and quite inexperienced. My boyfriend at the time had an anger disorder, and was quite abusive, mostly verbally, but I was scared of more after watching his treatment of his mother.
I recall an event where I had witnessed him in a physical altercation with his mother, and he came back into his room angry. He locked the door, and we were fooling around kissing. In short order, he was forcing me to service him but I couldn't breathe. The more I struggled the tighter he grabbed my neck and pushed harder. He laughed at me when he was through, then when I was upset, became Mr.Nice guy. Jekyll and Hyde at his finest.
Same guy belittled my size, made me feel worthless, not good enough and then would lift me up cycle after cycle, day after day to keep control. Later he raped me. I didn't call it that at the time, but now see it for what it was. Threats of leaving, that I was worthless, undesirable, then got his needs met, then I was again undesirable. One scary incident with a knife finally opened my eyes. He was later brought up on charges by other women for similar behaviour, having choked one of them, beating another. There were more I'd read about over the years.