TW: Grooming, Child Sexual Abuse

From the ages of 8 - 12 I was groomed and abused on several occasions by my two coaches when I played lacrosse. The abuse started when we would go on away games, often overnight and my mother, being a single mother, could not attend. My coaches volunteered to be my chaperones. I was told that it was normal and that all the kids had to do it and it was a part of the club and that it was a “secret ritual” that made me part of the team... It came to a point where I dreaded going on away games and even though I loved the sport I eventually quit because of the abuse.

I block a lot of it out and I don't feel anything but normal but how am I to know what normal is? Has this abuse effected me my whole life? Would I be a different person today had it not happened? Am I broken? I don't feel broken. I share my story because stories like mine don't get shared. Boys are tough. Boys can take it. Boys are told to suck it up and not show weakness. What happened to me should never have happened and I hope it doesn't happen to anyone.

#1in6